


beyond the waking

by laricina



Category: Final Fantasy X, Final Fantasy X-2
Genre: F/M, Families of Choice, Post-Game(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-04-28 07:09:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5082475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laricina/pseuds/laricina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"So, it's true then?" the girls asks as she passes the ball back to Tidus, "You're from Zanarkand?"</p><p>Tidus nods in affirmation before submerging himself in the ocean and flipping to pass the ball with a firm kick.</p><p>"Well, what are you going to do now?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	beyond the waking

~

_You are a fading dream, but one touched by reality._

_Spira will not forget its reality, nor the one who saved it._

_Run, dream; run on.  Pass beyond the waking, and walk into the daylight._

~

"So, it's true then?" the girl asks as she passes the ball back to Tidus, "You're from Zanarkand?"

Tidus nods in affirmation before submerging himself in the ocean and flipping to pass the ball with a firm kick.

"Well," the girl continues when Tidus resurfaces, barely catching the ball before passing it back, "what was it like?"

Tidus holds the ball for just a moment, absently rubbing his hands against it.  He smiles softly, and responds, "It was beautiful."

Before he can become lost in memory, the girl prods him, "And you were a blitzball player, right?"

"Sure was," Tidus responds, with more enthusiasm than before.

"Well, what are you going to do now?"

~

When Tidus returns to Spira, everyone seems to know him.  As one of Yuna’s guardians, this isn’t entirely unexpected; all of Spira seems to know the story of High Summoner Braska’s daughter and her ragtag team of guardians that managed to bring the Eternal Calm.  What surprises Tidus is that everyone seems to either know he’s from Zanarkand, or knows that he supposedly is, and everyone wants to know his story.  They ask him what life in Zanarkand was like, what it was like to grow up with machina and without any fear of it.  They ask him how he ended up in Spira to begin with, if he knows anything about Vegnagun, if he knows anything else about Shuyin and Sin.  They ask him if he went back to Zanarkand or the Farplane after the battle with Sin, and how he returned to Spira.

He doesn’t have the answers they want.  He barely has any answers at all.

~

The afternoon Tidus is reunited with Yuna, he takes her hand and runs with her to the shore in Besaid.  When Tidus loosens his grip as they reach the sand, she only grips his hand tighter and leans into him.  “I just… I need to know that you’re here.  That you’re real,” she explains, “So just… hold on to me a little longer?”

He wants to ask her how she knows that he’s real now.  He wants to protest that he felt real before he ever came to Spira; that he never questioned his existence until Bahamut’s fayth told him differently, and he doesn’t feel any different now than he had before.  He can’t promise a thing, and he’s so afraid of hurting Yuna again, but he knows that distancing himself will hurt her just as much, so he gives her a genuine smile and pulls her tighter into his arms.  “Always,” he tells her, and the smile she gives him in response is worth it.

Yuna holds onto his hand until the night ends.

-

"Yuna," he whispers that night around the fire, when they are finally alone, "I love you.  I'm sorry that I didn't tell you, on the airship, before..."  He has to swallow tightly against the lump in his throat before continuing.  "I'm sorry I never told you."

Yuna, in response, moves closer to him.  "I knew," she assures him, resting her head on his shoulder.  "I knew, but it makes me happy to hear you say it.  I love you, too."

Tidus smiles, even though she can't see his face, takes her into his arms, and rests his nose in her hair.  "Sounds like I've missed quite the adventure."

Yuna laughs.  "You did.  There will be plenty more for you, though.  I know it."

“With you around, I don’t think there’s ever doubt of that.”

“Hey now,” Yuna protests with another laugh, “you always get yourself into trouble too, you know.”

"Well, what can I say," Tidus says, "you and Rikku must have been a bad influence on me."

"Oh no," Yuna says in mock-horror, "you and Rikku together again are going to be such a _menace_."

“Is that going to be a problem?”

She pretends to think about it, and then decides, "I guess I can put up with it."

He smiles at that, and becomes so lost in his own memories it takes him some time to notice Yuna leaning more heavily against him.

“Yuna,” he whispers, “you must be tired.  Do you need to call it a night?”

“No, not yet,” she protests, her breath warm against his neck, “this is… this is nice.  For so long, I wanted…” she coughs, and Tidus knows she’s fighting to keep back tears, so he nuzzles into her.  “I would have given anything for this.  I’d like to stay, for just a little while longer, if that’s okay?”

“Of course,” Tidus whispers, and closes his eyes.

~

His return to Spira is jarring.  Tidus knows he was _somewhere_ , after leaving Spira, knows he was with his father, with Auron, but he can’t remember exactly where that was.  He doesn’t have the words to describe it.  All he remembers is feeling aware, suddenly, and swimming towards a light without really considering where he was going.  When he reached that light, he had found himself back in Spira, with no concept of how long he had been gone, until catching sight of Yuna.

He supposes that he’s come full circle, in a way.  He had come into Sin’s Spira with no warning and had floundered for weeks.  He has little reason to think it will be different this time around.  It should be comforting, he tells himself.  At the least, the territory is familiar.  Although he would bet anything that Spira will be different than the world he had just begun to know, he knows it better than he had the first time.  He has friends here too, and that’s a heck of a lot more than what he had been able to say before.

~

The sound of Vidina crying wakes him early.  Yuna stirs, but she rolls over in bed and remains asleep.  He places a kiss at the top of her head before rising and padding over to Vidina’s crib.  He is just settling the baby into his arms when Lulu approaches, yawning.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers through another yawn, “He’s probably hungry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Tidus assures her, “it’s the least I can do for letting me crash.”

“Don’t be silly,” Lulu admonishes, “you are always welcome here.  I’ve got him, go back to sleep.”

“I’m not sure I can sleep, honestly."

"Good, you can keep me company then," Lulu says, gently taking Vidina from his arms before nodding at him to follow her.

Lulu leads him to a small area at the back of their hut hidden behind a curtain and settles onto a small cushioned bench.  "I usually take him here to feed him during the night so Wakka can sleep, not that it matters - he'd still sleep through a herd of shoopuffs on a rampage."

Tidus laughs and leans back against the wall.  "Vidina's a cute kid, despite who his father is."

Lulu smirks.  “So I’ve been told.”

“I can’t believe you have a kid.”

“I can’t either, sometimes," Lulu admits, but she's smiling so fondly at Vidina that Tidus feels his heart constrict.

“Just be glad I’m around now – I need to teach him how to blitz the right way.”

Lulu rolls her eyes in response.  “This kid is going to be a nightmare with you and Wakka around.”

“You'd better believe it," Tidus affirms with a laugh.

Giving him a small smile, Lulu says, "I am glad to see you."

"Thanks Lulu," Tidus responds, a little shyly, even now.  "I'm glad to see you too."

Lulu turns her attention back to Vidina then, but not before he catches her giving him a contemplative look.

"If there's something you want to ask me," he prods, crossing his arms over his chest, "just ask."

To his surprise, she hesitates.  "It's water under the bridge now."

"You know," he says, uncrossing his arms, "I know it's been two years.  But you know what the weirdest thing is for me right now?  It feels like I took a good nap after fighting Sin and Yu Yevon, and woke up the next day, except everyone else is two years ahead of me.  I might feel better if you asked, honestly."

“Alright then.”  She pauses, adjusting Vidina against her chest.  “When did you find out?  About the fayth, and the dreaming.”

“On the way to the Zanarkand Ruins, after we left Gagazet.  Do you remember when we passed through the fayth, and I passed out?”

“You said you were dreaming…Oh.”

“Yeah.  I knew something was off before then, though.  Bahamut’s fayth spoke with me in Bevelle.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

He pauses, and finds himself glancing away, focusing on nothing in particular, unable to look Lulu in the eye.  “The pilgrimage wasn’t about me.  It was about Yuna, and saving Spira.  I knew that if I told her, both about me and about my old man being Sin, she’d be distracted.  She would worry.  She didn’t need that.”

The change in Lulu's tone from curious to accusing is unmistakable.  “Instead, you surprised all of us at the last moment, you think that was better?”

“I did what I had to do.”

“It didn’t spare Yuna any pain, if that’s what you were worried about.”

Tidus looks back at her then, and finds himself raising his voice unintentionally, forgetting about the baby.  "Oh, and you guys did? Letting her marry Seymour because she was supposed to die anyway, walking around her like she was glass?"

Vidina starts to cry, and Tidus immediately turns his gaze again, ashamed with himself.  He shouldn’t have forgotten about Vidina, and he feels bad about that.  He refuses to feel bad about his words.

The silence stretches between them, tense and suffocating, while Lulu rocks Vidina in an effort to calm him.  After she does, she responds, very softly, "That wasn't fair, Tidus."

Tidus wants to protest, but he stops himself.  Maybe it wasn't a fair statement to make, after all this time, but he doesn't think the words she spoke to him were fair either.  What he said was the truth, but then again, what she said was true, too.  He lets out a breath, and briefly has the thought that he's still being treated like an outsider.  He shouldn't be surprised.

He decides to let go of his indignation, and says instead, "Look, I did the best I could, okay?  We all wanted to save Yuna.  It just didn’t seem right, to let the cycle continue, to just ignore everything.  I wasn’t worried about myself, Lulu, I _couldn’t_ be.”

"You and Yuna are very similar, in some ways."  She sounds resigned.

"I'm sorry for the pain that I caused her, I really am.  And I'm sorry for what I did to the rest of you.  But it had to happen, Lulu.  If we were going to defeat Sin, for good, I couldn't stay.  I did what I thought was right, at the time."

"I'm not saying you did the wrong thing," she explains, her voice softer, "I'm saying I wish Yuna hadn't been blindsided.  Still, I understand your reasoning.  You’re right, besides.  The rest of us weren’t any better sometimes.  You still hurt her the most.”

“I know, and that was awful for me, you have to believe that, Lulu,” he almost begs.  “I didn’t want to leave her.”

“I want to ask you not to do that to her again, but I suppose you didn't have much control over what happened, before."

"I didn't," Tidus affirms, "and I'm not positive about now, either."

"Will you ever know?"

"I have no idea, honestly."

"Have no idea about what?"

Both Tidus and Lulu startle at the sound of Yuna's voice as she pushes the curtain aside and enters the area, walking towards Tidus.

"Hey, Yuna, sorry," Lulu apologizes, "I was hoping we wouldn't wake you up."

"You didn't, don't worry," Yuna is quick to assure, "I woke up from a dream."  She addresses Tidus then.  "You were gone."

“Sorry,” he tells her sheepishly, “I couldn’t sleep.”

Yuna moves next to him and rests her head on his shoulder.  "What aren't you sure about?"

With a smirk, Tidus answers, "About Vidina turning out to be a good blitzball player if Wakka's the one who teaches him."

Yuna snorts, but turns her attention to Lulu, who is rolling her eyes again.

"Maybe you and Wakka should wait until he's old enough to actually hold a blitzball before you fight over him."

"Where's the fun in that?" Tidus demands.

“I should have known,” Lulu groans with a shake of her head as she stands up, carefully lifting Vidina with her.  "I'm going to put him back to bed, and then I'm going to put myself back to bed.  You two do what you want."

"Okay, Lulu, see you in the morning," Yuna tells her.  As Lulu leaves, she gives Tidus a searching look.  He knows Lulu isn't going to just let go that he wasn't honest with Yuna, but he shakes his head at her, and she leaves them be.

"Come back to bed?" Yuna asks him, and he nods, still glancing at the spot where Lulu had been standing.  "Sure, Yuna, let's go."

Tidus follows her back to the spare bed, and settles in as Yuna curls herself around him, resting his head against hers, his nose in her hair.

“Are you okay?” she asks him softly.

“I’m great, Yuna,” he answers, truthfully, “because I’m with you.  Just restless, is all.”

“Well, if there’s anything you need to talk about,” she yawns, “I’m awake.”

“Yeah, and not for long, it sounds like,” he teases, and then asks, “What are you going to do, now that you’re back?  Or were you planning on traveling around more with the Gullwings?”

“I haven’t decided yet,” Yuna says honestly, “I just knew that I needed to come home for a while, and now you’re here.  Maybe we should just settle in, for a while.  I could use it.”

“Everything still feels so surreal,” Tidus says, “It’s hard to believe I’m back.”

“Don’t worry about it.  Take your time.  We have it, I promise.”

~

In the morning, after the emotional high of the previous day has passed, Tidus finds himself restless, unsure of what he's supposed to do.  Even when he had found himself in Spira years ago with no idea of where he was or how he was going to get back home, he still always had something to be doing, whether that was trying to survive fiends that were trying to kill him, trying to find his way back to Zanarkand, or, eventually, guarding Yuna.  Now, however, there was nothing, and he's desperate for something, anything, to keep himself busy.

He had never thought about what he would do if he made it back to Zanarkand because there had been no time, at first, and after discovering the truth of his existence, there hadn't seemed to be much point in planning for a future he would never have.

Tidus tries to shake off the feeling of drowning, and busies himself by helping Wakka prepare breakfast while Yuna and Lulu play with Vidina.  They spend a quiet morning in the hut together, and although he knows they all have questions, they allow Tidus to focus the attention away from himself.  He's grateful for it.

Wakka invites him down to the beach with Lulu and Vidina mid-morning, but he begs off, wanting to spend some time with Yuna.

After they’ve left, she asks him, “Are you doing alright?”

"Ah..." he awkwardly rubs his neck, "I'm just feeling a little disoriented."

"How can I help?"

There is so much that he has missed, and he feels suffocated by the weight of it all.  He has no idea where to start, and decides instantly that he doesn't want to beat around the push.  He never was one for that approach.

"Tell much about Shuyin," Tidus says.  "About Vegnagun."

"Are you sure?" Yuna asks.  "You only just got here."

"I want to know," he tells her.  "I want to know what I've missed."

"Okay," Yuna agrees, "then, there's something you need to see first."

~

After learning the truth of his existence, of dream Zanarkand, and Sin, Tidus sincerely thought nothing else in the world would surprise him.

As jarring as waking up in Spira again had been, even that did not surprise him as much as those things had. 

He was proven wrong when Yuna showed him the sphere of Shuyin, and not only as a result of the physical similarities. Shuyin’s desperation to save Lenne felt so familiar that he found himself dizzy with it.

He almost regrets asking Yuna to tell him about Shuyin, though he knows that he needed to.  He feels panicky and trapped, like he was brought back to Spira to fulfill another purpose.

~

The fayth restored Tidus exactly as he had been, but he doesn’t fit into this new world.  Then again, he was never meant to.

~

Yuna sings for him for the first time on his fourth night back, when he still can’t settle down enough to sleep.

She finds him sitting in the sand on the beach, absently passing a blitzball between his hands.  She kneels down behind him and puts her face on his shoulder.

“Hey,” she says, “still can’t sleep?”

“Nah,” Tidus responds, “I just can’t… settle, I guess.”

“Can I help?”

He frowns, the blitzball between his hands.  “I don’t know.”

The silence stretches between them, and then Yuna takes the blitzball from him, runs down the beach, and turns back to him.  "Catch!" she yells with laughter as she tosses the ball to him.

"Woah, hey, warn a guy will you!" Tidus shouts, laughing as he catches the ball with ease, and throws it back to her.

"I shouldn't need to warn a star blitzball player," Yuna teases, walking closer to him before tossing him the ball.

“I’m a bit out of practice, you know.”

"Well, no time like the present," Yuna tells him, and they fall easily into passing the ball back and forth.  Yuna keeps him on his feet, running behind him, in front of him, even taking the ball into the water.  He chases her into the ocean, laughing, and the ball becomes forgotten as they splash each other.  Eventually, they fall back onto the sand, still laughing.  When they stop, Tidus gathers her into his arms, and presses his face into her wet hair.  Silence falls between them, comfortable this time, and Tidus lets himself listen to the waves and her heartbeat until Yuna speaks again.

"I couldn't sleep either, after we defeated Sin."

"What did you do?"

“I came here, mostly.  I watched the waves.  I swam.  I practiced holding my breath underwater."

"You did?" Tidus grins.

"Yeah," Yuna laughs, "it was hard, but I got better.  It gave me something to focus on.  It helped me feel closer to you."

"I'm so sorry," Tidus whispers again.

"Don't be," she insists, "I'm not trying to make you feel guilty.  It's the truth, that's all."

"How long did it take you to be able to sleep again?"

"Awhile," Yuna admits, "and it took me even longer to realize I wasn't the only one.  Lulu, Wakka, Rikku, they all experienced similar things."  Yuna pauses, her hand absently finding his, and then continues, "All of Spira was out of sorts, actually."

"Yeah, I'll bet." Tidus agrees.  "Is that your way of saying I should take my time?"

"If you want," Yuna says.  "What do you want to do?"

"Sleep," he answers definitively.

“I mean, tomorrow.  And the day after that.”

"I really have no idea."

"Well that's okay," Yuna says.  "How can I help?"

Tidus smiles.  “You can be here.”

Yuna settles in his arms, and she sings.  Tidus doesn't recognize the song, but it's beautiful, and he feels the love he has for her expand in his chest until he feels as though he might burst.

-

Yuna waits until the next morning to ask him about Shuyin.

"You don't have to tell me," Yuna prefaces, "but I know you have something on your mind.  Seeing that sphere bothered you, didn't it?"

"Life was simple, in Zanarkand," Tidus begins by way of response.  "Maybe too simple, now that I know the truth.  We lived, and we didn't question much.  Now that I think about it, maybe the fayth wanted to dream Zanarkand without the problems that had destroyed it."

"Maybe," Yuna agrees, "is that a bad thing?"

"No, I don't think so.  It's not like most of Zanarkand knew any differently.  It made sense, before.  There was a war, and the fayth dreamed Zanarkand to keep us living, that's what I knew.  But there was Shuyin, too."

“What’s really bothering you about Shuyin, Tidus?  You aren’t him.”

“Yeah.  Maybe that’s the point.”

“Are you saying that you think the fayth purposefully dreamt you like him?”

“It’s hard not to think that, is what I’m saying.  Your resemblance to Lenne is uncanny, but you’re alive, Yuna, that couldn’t be predicted.  The fayth could dream me to be like whoever they wanted.”

“Even if that’s true, does it really matter?  You aren’t Shuyin.  You’ve made your own decisions.”

 “Sure,” Tidus agrees, “After I was brought to Spira without much choice.”

“Yes,” Yuna continues, “and you chose to save Spira, to save me, by letting yourself go.  That was a choice, Tidus.”

“Yeah, I guess it was.”

He doesn’t say that it didn’t exactly feel like one, at the time.  He doesn't say that it feels like he has no choice now; that maybe he's living out who Shuyin was supposed to be.

~

"This place sure looks the same," Tidus comments, standing just outside of the temple.

"It looks the same," Wakka agrees, "but that's about all that's the same about it."

"Yeah, I heard," Tidus replies, "Yuna told me about the fiends in the temples."

Wakka looks back at Tidus at the change in tone and sees his frown.  "What's on your mind?"

“I can’t believe that, after all Spira went through with Sin, people treated the temples like tourist traps.  What a joke.”

Wakka raises his eyebrows.  “What you say again?”

“What?” Tidus asks.  “What did I say this time?”

“Just a little surprised, is all.  Not like you were ever high on Yevon.”

"Well, no," Tidus concedes, "I wasn't, but.... look, maybe I wasn't here for very long, but no one needed to be in Spira very long to see how intense everything was.  Yevon, the temples, that's all there _was_.  It’s weird to hear how differently the temples were treated.  I know how much the circumstances have changed, but it’s still weird.”

Wakka scratches the back of his head.  “Having trouble getting used to it myself, ya?  Even after all this time.  Guess that’s why I volunteered to help out with the temple.  Want to make sure nothing bad is going on, ya?  ‘Course, couldn’t stop all the nonsense with the fiends and the aeons, but I guess that was more Shuyin than anything.”

“Yeah." Tidus snorts.  "Shuyin."

“ Did Yuna show you the sphere?”

“Yeah.  She did.”

“Creepy how much he looked like you, ya?”

“I think… maybe it’s creepy how much _I_ look like _him_.”

“You don’t mean… you don’t think the fayth did that on purpose?”

“Who knows?  Shuyin actually existed.  I never really did, and they had to dream me based on something, right?”

“Could just be a coincidence.  Yuna looks like Lenne, after all, and she’s – Oh, sorry.”  Wakka finishes sheepishly.

“It’s okay, I get it.  I said the same thing to Yuna.”

"Well, hey," Wakka says, clearly in an attempt to change the subject, "you're here now."

Tidus doesn’t respond to that.

"And you're.... you know.  You just gonna disappear again, or are you real?"

“Who knows?  I think I’m real.  It feels like I’m real.  But it felt like that before.”

“And the fayth didn’t say anything to you about that?”

“Not that I can remember.”

“Seems real goofy, ya?”

Tidus laughs.  "I guess so, but I'm not sure I could have expected anything more."

"Well, that's the truth," Wakka says, a little darkly, but then asks, "So now that you're here, what are you going to do?"

"I honestly have no idea."

"Well, come on then for now, make yourself useful.  Come to the Aurochs practice, ya?"

“Wakka, I can honestly tell you that nothing sounds better.”

~

After the practice winds down, Tidus stays with Wakka, enjoying the feel of water on his skin, of idly passing a blitzball back and forth.  “I want you to know it wasn’t just Yuna that looked for you, ya?” Wakka says, rolling a blitzball on his finger.  “We all wanted you back, but…”

“It’s okay, Wakka,” Tidus says, “you didn’t have a reason to believe I could.  My Zanarkand is gone.  It was never real to begin with.  The fayth are gone.”

“Where did you go, anyway?”

“I’m not really sure.  My father was there.  Auron was, too.  They were there, but they weren’t.  It was strange.”

“What, and then you were just… back?”

Tidus shrugs.  “Close enough.”

“Well, hey, there’s plenty of time to figure it out, ya?  In the meantime, you should join the Aurochs.  We could use you.”

Tidus looks back and laughs.  “I knew you were only happy to see me because someone can actually blitz.”

“Hey!” Wakka raises his arms in the air as he exclaims in protest, forgetting about the blitzball on his finger, which falls into the water.  “You take that back, ya!”

“I’ll take it back,” Tidus assures him, retrieving the fallen ball.  “When you can beat me.”

“From where I’m standing, only one of us is outta practice, and it’s not me.”

“Even out of practice, I just kicked your ass, you know,” Tidus points out, tossing one of the balls to Wakka.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, hold your chocobos, ya?  Come on, put that big mouth to use.”

“Well.  I’ll think about it, okay?”

“Come on now, what’s to think about?”

For as long as Tidus can remember, all he had wanted was to play blitzball.  As clearly as he can remember their final days on the pilgrimage, he can remember the thrill of seeing the stadium lit up, watching Jecht blow away the fans, as fascinated and inspired as he was jealous, even angry, sometimes.  Blitzball had been his life until he had come to Spira, and he had never truly considered his life without it.  It had been his only option as much as it had been the only option he had wanted, in Zanarkand.

Now, nothing is the same.  He still wants to play blitzball, but he finds he can’t shake the feeling there’s something else he needs to be doing.

What, though, he cannot say.

~

As much as Tidus finds himself at a loss for words when Besaid’s residents ask him where he had gone, he finds he has no problem making conversation with the children.  The children are easier.  He likes them.  They ask him about Zanarkand, yes, but their questions are straightforward, more blunt, and they seem to accept his confusion much easier.  Most of them beg him to coach them to play blitzball while griping about Wakka.

Tidus likes them a lot.

He’s laughing on the beach early one afternoon with a group of them when a vision of him and Yuna, playing with a child - their child - takes him by surprise.  The thought fills him with more warmth than he has felt in a long time, and he quietly files it away.

~

As the days pass and Tidus still has trouble sleeping, early mornings with Lulu and Vidina become a sort of routine.  Tidus always wakes when Vidina cries, and he finds that he feels calm around him – Vidina’s needs, right now, are simple, and Tidus finds that reassuring.

Tidus never spoke much with Lulu on the pilgrimage.  Even after she made her peace with him, even began to trust him, Tidus spent most of his time with Yuna and Auron, especially after learning the truth of Jecht, and then himself.  He expected it to be strange, at first, but after Lulu’s initial outlet of her frustrations regarding his withholding of the truth, she is far more welcoming towards him than she was before.  Some mornings they sit together in silence, and Tidus finds he is glad for the company – she always was a strong, solid presence.  Some mornings, they talk.

A few days after Tidus’ talk with Wakka at the Besaid Temple finds him awake before Lulu when Vidina cries, which is a rarity, and so Tidus gently takes him out of his crib, rocking him to calm him as he heads to the back of the hut to wait for Lulu.  She finds him there only a few minutes later, looking uncharacteristically frazzled.  Tidus is unsuccessful in holding back his smile.

“Not a word,” Lulu mumbles, taking Vidina from Tidus and settling onto the bench.

“Late night with him last night?”

“Something like that.”

“You know, I never see Wakka up with him.”

“He is, sometimes, but he can’t be when he’s hungry.”

“Oh, yeah, right.”

“Where were you last night?  I thought you’d come in with Yuna.”

“Yuna was busy with the temple elders.  Wakka asked for some help with looking through that strange cave, so I helped him.”

“That was your first mistake,” Lulu informs him, “He’s so sure he’ll find more in that cave that he hasn’t already.  Anyway, if I remember correctly, Yuna was speaking with the elders as well as some old Yevonites who have traveled her recently.  You knew some of them from the pilgrimage.  I think they’d like to see you.”

Tidus doesn’t respond to that, turning his attention away from Lulu instead.

“Come on, now,” Lulu prompts softly, “you were never quiet about these things before.”

“I just don’t know what to say to them,” Tidus admits.  “I don’t really know anything.”

“It’s not like you’d have to say anything specific,” Lulu tells him, “They just want to hear your story.”

“That’s what I mean,” he responds.  “How can I tell my story when I’m unsure of it myself?  How am I supposed to tell them why I’m back here if I don’t know?”

Lulu remains silent for a while, before finally speaking.

“It’s okay to be lost, Tidus.  Much of Spira is.  I was, too, after we defeated Sin.  I’d been a guardian for so long, I’m not sure I knew how to be anything else.  Yuna was… she was going to be my last, no matter the outcome, but as Zanarkand grew closer, I became more sure I didn’t know how to live as anything else, and if she…” Lulu sighs, uncomfortable, but continues.  “If one of us had become the Final Aeon, I think it would have been Kimahri, but I was prepared to volunteer.  So when we defeated Sin without the Final Aeon, I wasn’t sure what I wanted anymore.  I had to learn how to live again.  I still am.”

“How did you figure it out?”

“I wasn’t sure I wanted to stay in Besaid, but this is my home, and I felt some responsibility to make sure everyone here was taken care of.  It wasn’t my responsibility alone, of course, but I suppose it made me feel good to think that it was.  But it’s been quiet here, mostly, except for the fiends in the temple.  I found I like the quiet,” Lulu admits, still rocking Vidina, “but I surprised myself, with that one.”

“Yuna said you wanted to go with her.  When Rikku found that sphere.”

“I did.  I would have gone.  But I think Yuna needed to be lost for a while, needed to do her own thing without us hanging over her head.  I didn’t like the stunt she pulled, but I understood.”

“And now?”

“It worked out for the best, I think.” Lulu pauses.  “Anyway, just take your time.”

“You know, it would be easier to take my time if I wasn’t getting asked about Zanarkand every five minutes.”

“I doubt you’ll be able to escape those questions, sorry.  I’m sure half of Spira knows of your return now; gossip travels faster here than it ever did before.  But if you’re looking to figure things out with a little privacy, I’m sure Rikku could be convinced to hide you away on the airship for a little while.”

“Getting away sounds nice,” Tidus admits, “but I don’t want to go anywhere without Yuna.”

“I’m sure she would go with you.”

“She said she wanted to spend some time at home.”

“She did.  She has, and she can again.  But you coming back changed things.  I’m sure she would do anything for you.”

“It wouldn’t be fair of me to come here and uproot everything-”

“You’re an idiot,” Lulu barks.

Tidus doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he says instead, “I’m not even sure where I would start, on the airship.”

“Don’t stress about it too much.  But talk to Yuna.  My ears are always open, Tidus, but you should be talking with her about this, too.  She deserves it.”

Tidus, even after all this time, is still worried about disappointing her, but he keeps it to himself.

~

He isn't sure that he's ready to see all of Spira again so soon.  He still feels as though he was thrown out of the blitzball sphere unexpectedly and can't find his feet; as though he's trying to breathe in the water, forgetting he has the air instead.  Throwing himself into the pilgrimage had worked out for him before, sure, but it had been the only option at the time.  He has time, now, and choices, which is the problem, really.  He has no idea what to do with that time or those choices.

-

He finds her inside the temple, quietly talking with some of Besaid's residents.  He makes his way towards the edge of the room to wait, but she excuses herself after seeing him enter the temple.

"Hey," she says with a smile, "I wasn't expecting you until later today."

“I need to ask you something.”

“Of course, go ahead.”

“I know I haven’t been myself since coming back, Yuna, and I’m sorry that I haven’t been honest with you about the reasons.  I’m confused, and overwhelmed, and I feel like I need some time to get familiar with Spira again, so I can find my footing.”

“Of course you do,” Yuna says, putting her hand on his cheek, “You haven’t had much time to slow down since coming to Spira the first time.  Did you have something in mind?”

“Ah…” Tidus raises a hand to cover the hand Yuna had placed on his cheek.  “I was thinking that it might help for me to see how Spira has changed, since Sin.  I mean, I know it’s been two years, but it still feels like two weeks for me, you know?  Lulu suggested that it might help for me to get away to think, and I think she was right, but I also really want to see Spira.  I’d like to see Luca and Macalania for sure, and Rikku and Kimahri.  It doesn’t have to be right away.  I mean, I don’t want to go without you, and I know you just got back.  But I wanted to ask if you would be willing to go with me?”

“Of course, Tidus, I would love to see Spira with you.  You didn’t have to ask.”

“Are you sure?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, from the sounds of it, you just had quite the adventure.  You and Lulu and Wakka have been so accommodating since I’ve reappeared.  I don’t want to ask too much of you, Yuna.”

“I did just have quite the adventure, but something I learned from that adventure is that I missed being home.  But Besaid will still be here when we get back.  I left in the first place so that I could find you.  I got so much else out of that journey, but I also got you, so if I’m with you, that’s all I want.”

“Okay.  Okay, good.”

“We’ll contact Rikku and see if the Celsius is anywhere near, so she can pick us up.”

“Yeah, I was wondering about that.  How are you planning on contacting her?”

“The commsphere, of course!  Come on, I’ll show you!”

-

Tidus examines the commsphere in Besaid with no small amount of trepidation.  "This seems creepy," he declares.

"This coming from the one who grew up in the city of machina," Wakka laughs.

"Oh, shut up, Wakka  Just show me how it works?"

"Who you tryin' to contact, anyway?" Wakka asks Yuna activates the commsphere.

"Rikku," Tidus answers, and then jumps when Rikku's face appears in front of them with little warning.

 _"Hey, Tidus!"_ Rikku yells through the sphere, _"How's it going in Besaid, Mr. Star Blitz Player?"_

Bewildered, Tidus blinks, and says, "I'm not exactly a star player anymore."

 _"Whatever,"_ Rikku snorts, _"You do know people are still talking about that stunt you pulled with the Aurochs against the Goers, right?"_

"That was _two years_ ago."

 _"Yeah, well,"_ Rikku waves her hand around, _"it's blitzball.”_   Tidus thinks that’s fair.  He certainly has never needed much more justification than that, when it came to the sport.  _“Anyway,”_ Rikku prompts, _“What’s going on?"_

"Are you going to be near Besaid anytime soon?" Yuna interjects.

_"Maaaaaaybe.  Depends on the reason."_

“Tidus wants to see Spira, now that Sin is gone,” Yuna explains, “I was thinking you could pick us up on the airship?”

_“Of course!  But you’ll have to work for it.”_

“Oh?”

 _“We found some strange sphere waves around Baaj Temple, we were just headed there to check it out, actually,”_ Rikku explains, _“So we can pick you up, if you want to help on the mission!”_

“Absolutely!” Yuna agrees, even as Tidus groans.

“Rikku!” he whines, “You know how I feel about that place!”

_“What, scared some big scary fiend is going to come get you?  Don’t worry, Yunie and I will be there to protect you.”_

“Hey, I’m not scared!”

_“Suuuure you’re not.”_

“We’ll be ready,” Yuna tells her.  “When can you pick us up?”

_“Ummm, give us two days?  I think we can be there in two days."_

“Okay,” Yuna says with a nod.

_“Okay, see you then, be ready!  Yunie, you’d better help Tidus brush up on his fighting so the fiends don’t kick his ass!”_

“Hey!”

Rikku laughs, and ends the transmission.

Tidus huffs, but Wakka says, “Well, she’s not wrong, ya?  Do you even remember how to hold a sword?”

“Shut up, Wakka,” Tidus protests, but then he thinks about it.  “I don’t have a sword anymore, though.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Yuna assures him, “I have just the thing, follow me.”

-

Yuna leads Tidus into Lulu and Wakka’s hut and to the chest where she keeps her garment grids, then changes into her Warrior dress sphere.  “I saved it,” Yuna explains, holding Brotherhood out to Tidus.  “Take it.”

“Yuna…” Tidus shakes his head.  “It’s yours now.  You’ve been using it with that dress sphere, right?  Keep it.”

“No.  I saved it because… because it was a piece of you that I could keep.  Whenever I needed to fight with a sword, I thought of you, you know?  It helped make me strong.  But I don’t need that reminder anymore.  You’re right here.  This sword belongs to you.  Besides,” she laughs, removing her hand from the hilt as she practically forces it into Tidus’ hands, “you’ll need something to defend yourself against fiends.  I have plenty.”

Tidus can’t help but admiring Brotherhood once he has the sword back in his hands.  It really had always been his favorite.  “Maybe you can share some of those dress spheres with me sometime, yeah?  I’d love to see how it works.”

  
“Oh, you’re going to be sorry you asked me that.  First chance I get, I’m putting you in the Moogle suit.”

~

Tidus spends some time re-acquainting himself with Brotherhood, with the heavy feel of the sword in his hands, of the comforting presence he finds.  It takes less time than he expects; the motions come to him as naturally as they had the first time.

Sometimes, though, he still finds himself turning around and searching for Auron, waiting for his criticism.  He has to swallow against the tightness in his throat when he remembers he'll never get that again.

~

“Don’t get into too much trouble now,” Lulu commands, waiting to see them off by the docks in Besaid.

Wakka laughs at her.  “You know who you’re talking to?”

Yuna laughs too.  “I think I’ve had enough trouble for a while, Lulu.  I don’t think we’ll be gone long.”

“If I were you,” Lulu says flatly, “I wouldn’t make any promises, I know you.  But, you kids take your time.  You’ve earned it.”

“Come on!” Rikku yells impatiently from just outside the airship.  “Chop chop, let’s get a move on!  There are places to be, spheres to find, fiends to beat up, let’s go!”

~

As it turns out, the sphere waves that the Gullwings had detected came from inside the Chamber of the Fayth at Baaj Temple, in which they find two old spheres of little significance.  Yuna and Rikku appear unsurprised, if a little disappointed.  Still, the disappointing find leaves Rikku unwilling to leave without checking around the temple for anything else of us, so she cheerfully bounds out of the chamber, leaving Tidus and Yuna behind.

"I'm sorry the spheres didn't turn out to be much," Tidus offers, as Yuna pockets both spheres, one of which was broken, the other of which contained old, fuzzy images of an empty chamber.

"Oh, we're used to it," Yuna says while turning to smile at him, "this is what sphere hunting was, most of the time.  Sure, we uncovered some interesting footage, and found some dresspheres, but I was mostly along for the ride."

"Well, I'll bet it was interesting, that's for sure," Tidus agrees.

"It was, yes," Yuna says, her eyes scanning the chamber.

"Is it strange for you?" Tidus asks hesitantly.  "To be here, without the fayth?"

"Yeah, a little," Yuna admits, "it feels emptier.  I know Spira is better off now.  I wouldn't trade destroying Sin for anything, but I.... I miss my aeons so much."

Hugging her from behind, Tidus says, "I think they know that."

"It makes me happy to imagine that they do," Yuna tells him, and then she asks, “So, was coming back here so bad?”

Tidus laughs.  "We took care of that fiend before, I wasn't too worried."

"Sure you weren't."

"Eh, well," Tidus admits, "this place still creeps me out."

"Can I go see what Rikku's up to, or do you need me here to protect you?"

Tidus laughs at her again, and pulls her in to kiss her.  "Go explore, I'll scream really loud if I need to."

"Well there's no need to scream," Yuna says, "Just whistle."

Then, with a kiss, she bounds off, leaving Tidus a little shell-shocked, his fingers to his lips.

When he finally meets up with Yuna and Rikku, he finds them deep in conversation that halts when they notice him approaching.

Tidus knows he just interrupted them talking about him, but he decides not to ask.

"Hey, Tidus," Rikku greets, a little too cheerfully, "Are you ready to go?"

"I was waiting on you," Tidus teases her, and she scoffs.

"Yeah, whatever, you can walk home."

"Rikku!" Yuna admonishes.

"All right all right.  So, where are we off to next?"

Yuna turns her attention to Tidus.  "Well, where do you want to go?"

"Luca?" Tidus suggests.  "It's still blitzball season, isn't it?"

"I shouldn't have even asked," Rikku says with a roll of her eyes, but nods and heads back towards the airship.

"That sounds great to me," Yuna says more calmly, and Tidus follows her.

~

Tidus is on the deck of the Celsius mindlessly tossing a ball between his bent knees when he hears Rikku plop down beside him, firing off questions with no warning.

“So, what’s your deal anyway?”

Tidus sighs.

Rikku pokes him.  “You’re worrying Yunie.”

With a roll of his eyes, Tidus insists, “I don’t have a ‘deal’, Rikku. I’m fine.”

“You’re such a liar.  You’re lying.  Liar, liar, pants on fire - “

“ _Rikku_.”

“Hey, I know how to push your buttons.”

Tidus glares.  “Cut it out.”

“Tell me what’s wrong,” she retorts.

Tidus tosses the ball at Rikku to shut her up.  She responds by gently hitting him in the shoulder with it.

“Yuna says she had a lot of fun, traveling around with you on the ship.”

“Yeah, she did.  So did I.”

“She’s… different, than I remember.  It isn’t a bad thing.  I know she had to adapt.  But I feel like I’m back in the middle of a world that isn’t meant for me anymore.  I’m only back because Yuna wanted it.  What if she changes her mind?”

“Don’t be _stupid_ ,” Rikku chides.  “She’s been searching for you from the moment you jumped off the airship.”

“Yeah,” he breathes, “and meanwhile, everything around here was changing but me.”

“So catch up.  You were always good at that.”

"Was I? I fumbled around like a bull in a china shop, just hoping to find the door."

At that, Rikku lets out a loud, surprised laugh, and she breaks into giggles.  “Well you found it, I’d say.  That counts for something, don’t you think?”

Tidus sighs.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to be.”

“Well…” Rikku shrugs.  “You’ll fit right in.  Yuna wasn’t the only one a little lost after she brought the Eternal Calm.  Spira didn’t know how to live without Sin.  A lot of us still don’t.  We’re figuring it out together, you know?”

“Yeah, and what about you?”

Rikku smiles wide.  “I’m a sphere hunter, remember?”

“Right.  I remember.”  Tidus passes the ball between his knees again, and the silence drags on.

“You know,” Rikku points out eventually, “You keep saying you’re the same, but you’re wrong.  You’re nothing like the guy I pulled out of the water, nothing like the guy I knew even when I first became Yunie’s guardian.  You changed more than a lot of us on that pilgrimage, you know.  You can figure yourself out with Yunie – you don’t have it do it on your own.  She wouldn’t want you to.  You shouldn’t feel like you have to do this before you can be with her.”

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to,” Rikku tells him gently, ruffling his hair before leaving the deck.

~

When Tidus had first met Yuna, they knew nothing about each other, and yet Yuna had never hesitated in asking him about Zanarkand.  She had believed him, even that first night; hadn't treated him like he was lying or had lost his mind.  She wasn't Auron, either, who of course knew he wasn't lying about Zanarkand but had seemed to be in no rush to divulge that he knew Tidus wasn't lying.  Tidus had been used to that; Auron had always had an agenda that he would deny until he was good and ready to divulge the information.

Now, of course, Tidus only felt silly about how he had treated Yuna at the beginning of the pilgrimage, before he had known the truth, but she not only never resented him for it, she had seemed to be drawn to him because of it.  Tidus had believed in her without knowing anything about her, the same as she had done for him.

They had not connected with each other for superficial reasons, Tidus is sure, but still, they were never supposed to last.  Tidus was supposed to find his way back to Zanarkand - his Zanarkand - and Yuna was supposed to die.  Tidus wonders now if they can figure out how to be together in this new world, where nothing is for sure, where Tidus has no idea what he wants.

~

They reach Luca in time to catch that afternoon’s game between the Goers and the Psyches, and tickets are almost sold out but Yuna and Tidus have no issues getting into the game – in fact, all the blitz players around seem to bend over backwards trying to get Tidus’ attention.

The attention makes him uncomfortable, and Tidus doesn’t know what to do with that.  He used to love the attention, in Zanarkand.  He loved the support of his fans – he had resented them, at first, when the only attention he was receiving was because he was Jecht’s son, but soon, he made the name for himself, all on his own, and it had felt good.

Auron had accused him once of feeding too much into the attention of his fans in Zanarkand because it was all the attention he would allow himself – he hadn’t had many friends back then, even on the team, and had kept even Auron at arm’s length.  Auron had said he was doing it because he was afraid they’d leave him, like both of his parents had.  Tidus had scoffed at that idea, and proclaimed that he didn’t actually need anyone.  It hadn’t been true, of course.

He’s unsure now why the attention makes him uncomfortable – perhaps it’s because he knows that most of the attention comes from the fact that he was one of Yuna’s guardians, or perhaps it’s because he is finding himself suddenly unsure of his desire to play blitzball.  Regardless, it’s obvious that Yuna notices his discomfort, but she doesn’t say a word about it, smiling politely at everyone as she leads him into the stadium.

The game itself is better – it’s easy, effortless to get lost in the excitement of the game – easy to root against the Goers out of principle.  It’s easy to analyze the strategy of both teams and the skills of the players.  It’s easy to deduce that the Psyches would be more competition for the Goers if their goalie had the confidence to match his talent.  It gets his blood going.  By the end of the game, he finds himself desperate to get out there and play.

He still can’t explain the small amount of hesitation.

-

They decide to stay in Luca that night, and while Yuna is busy speaking with a group of children at the inn, Rikku and Tidus sit at a table in the lobby where Rikku teaches him sphere break.

"You know," Rikku begins casually, "I know you're worried about being left behind, but you shouldn't be.  You have a home here."

“What?  Rikku, I never said I was worried about that.”

Rikku ignores him, pulling more cards from her pocket.  "Back on the pilgrimage, and even for a while afterwards, I felt like I was being left behind too.  Everyone seemed to have an agenda, a purpose, except me, you know?  I felt like I was just in the way, even to Yuna, and that hurt more than anything.  She's like a sister to me.  Eventually, I think I realized that I didn't have to have a specific purpose.  I'm a sphere hunter now, and I love it, but I can't say for sure if I want to be a sphere hunter forever.  I'm still unsure about a lot of things, but I'm not going to stress out about it.  I have the Al Bhed, and I have Yunie.  And you have a family with us.  Don't push us away.  We all love you, okay?  I know you felt left out sometimes, on the pilgrimage, I get it.  But we couldn't have saved Yunie without you, don't you forget that.  I certainly haven't, and I don't think anyone else has either.  We're here for you.  We love you.  You don't have to be alone."

Tidus feels his throat tighten with emotion.  His fingers clench around the card he’s holding.

Rikku gives him an affectionate jab in the shoulder and huffs.  “You don’t have to say anything now, okay, just think about it.”  She ruffles his hair, and then looks down at the table and exclaims, “Wow, you _suck_ at this game!”

-

That night, as they quietly talk in their room, Tidus has the feeling Yuna wants to say more to him than discuss plans about their travel, but she is, for now, respecting his boundaries.  Tidus knows he should start the conversation, but he lets her direct it towards their travel anyway.  He doesn’t have the energy for much else.

"So," Yuna says, "Rikku said she'll take us anywhere we want to go before she goes to pick up Paine.  Where do you want to go?"

“Have you spent much time in the Moonflow since the pilgrimage?”

“No.  Not at night.  Not without you.”

“Are you okay with still going to see it?”  
  
“I’ve wanted to go for years,” Yuna confesses, “I’d love to go see it now.”

“Okay, so then Moonflow, then.  We can just wing it after that, yeah?”

“Why not?  We certainly have the time.”

~

Tidus says his goodbyes to Rikku as Brother is gesturing emphatically while telling Yuna some story he has no reference of.

"What's the deal with him, anyway?" Tidus asks, gesturing to Brother.

“Oh, don’t mind him,” Rikku waves her hand in dismissal, “he’ll get over it.”

“Get over what?”

Rikku smirked.  “You.”

Tidus blinks.  “I…don’t get it.”

“I was wrong.  You haven’t changed at all; you’re still just as dense as always.”

"Um.  Okay?"

Laughing, Rikku ruffles his hair again.  "Quit that!" Tidus yelps, which only results in her grabbing him in a headlock.

"Don't be a stranger, okay?  I'm sure you and Yunie need your alooooone time, but you guys call me if you need a pick up, yeah?"

"I'm sure Yuna will, I still have no idea how those commspheres even work."

"Yeah, quit acting clueless, Tidus, we figured you out on that one a long time ago.”

“Rikku,” Yuna chides, “go harass someone else, will you?”

“You never let me have any fun, Yunie.  Alright, alright, you guys go, enjoy your alone time, have fun, be safe – “

“Rikku,” Yuna interrupts with a smile, grabbing her arm.  “We’ve got it.”

Rikku pouts, but perks up when Yuna hugs her.  “You guys call if you need me okay?”

“We will, Rikku.  See you soon!” With a wave to everyone on the airship, Tidus and Yuna move to head out.

“Remember to look for spheres!” Rikku calls as she watches them walk away.

~

They relax in the grass along the edge of the Moonflow watching the lights as Tidus had promised what seems like a lifetime ago, now.

He doesn’t realize he had drifted off into his own thoughts until he hears Yuna insistently calling him.

“Tidus? Hey, you okay?”

“Hey, sorry.  Guess I drifted off there.”

“What were you thinking about?”

“Nothing in particular,” Tidus replies, and it’s the truth.  He finds it difficult these days for his thoughts to be grounded.

Yuna doesn't believe him, that much is obvious.  "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," he smiles at her, trying to be reassuring, "I just have a lot on my mind."  He sees the concerned look on her face and adds, because it may not be the entire truth, but it's part of it, "I was thinking about the first time we came here, on the pilgrimage."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," he says, but can't bear to look at her.  "About the things that I said to you.  I think, by the time we got here, I was beginning to suspect that I wouldn't ever make it back home.  Everyone seemed so sad on the pilgrimage, and I didn't know, and I was trying to cheer everyone up, but I was also trying to make plans for myself, I think."

"Tidus," Yuna says gently, placing a hand on his arm, "I meant it when I told you that you saying those things never made me sad, you know that, right?"

“I believe you,” he says, “but it still bothers me, saying all those things, when everyone else knew.”

“Maybe,” Yuna tells him quietly, “maybe I wasn’t the only one of us who wanted to believe, for a while, that I could do all those things, after Sin was defeated.”

“I didn’t think of it that way,” Tidus admits, “and I can understand that.  I still wish it hadn’t been kept a secret.”

“The others…” Yuna says, “I think it was painful for them, and maybe, maybe I was being selfish, letting them keep the secret.  It’s not as though you were truthful with us.”

“Well, how was I supposed to bring it up?  ‘Hey, just so you guys know, I’m not real?’”

“How was I supposed to bring it up?  ‘Hey, Tidus, if I’m strong enough to defeat Sin, I’m going to die?’”

Tidus sighs.  “Yeah, yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Unshed tears in her eyes, Yuna says, “I don’t want to be angry about it.  I spent too much time being angry, and sad.  I can understand if you’re frustrated about what happened before, if you’re sad, if you don’t know how you feel.  You haven’t had the time to process it like I have, I get that.  If there are things you can’t talk about right now, that’s fine.  But if there’s something about me, about us, that’s unsettling you, I’d prefer to discuss it.  Please.  I don’t want us to resent each other.  I don’t want to have any more secrets.”

"I don't either," Tidus insists, and knows it's the truth.

~

She still sings the hymn of the fayth, sometimes.  He’s never sure if it’s for him or herself.

~

“You said that you fought Shuyin and Vegnagun in the Farplane, right?”

“Yes.”

“So… can the Farplane still be accessed from the Chambers of the Fayth?  Have they been sealed?”

“I doubt they’ve been sealed already.  There hasn’t been enough time since the battle.  Baralai mentioned in passing being unsure of what to do about it.  Anyway, the Farplane is still unstable, after everything that’s happened.  The chambers are being guarded because the safety of civilians can’t be guaranteed.  I’m not sure about Guadosalam, because the Guado always handled the Farplane before now.  Why?”

“I was just thinking that I’d like to go there, but it can wait.”

“No, we’ll go.  They’ll let me in.  Are you thinking about your father?”

“No.  I was hoping to see Auron, actually.  I don’t even know if he’ll be there.  Somehow, I don’t think so, but I’d still like to try.”

“I never did get to thank him properly,” she muses.  “I wish I knew what had happened to him.”

“He knew, Yuna.  It was… strange, when I first left.  Auron and my old man, and your father, too, they weren’t alive, any of them, but they were all there.  I felt them all.  It was like when I accepted my fate, accepted that I was going to disappear, they were there to welcome me.  I think it was their way of telling me they were okay with everything, too.”  Tidus frowned then.  “Well.  Not everything.”

“No,” Yuna shook her head.  “Not everything.  I thought I heard…Tidus, I thought I heard your father, during our battle with Vegnagun.  He was apologizing, for what had happened.”

“Yeah,” Tidus breathes out, “I think he was.  But it wasn’t really his fault at all, was it?  All this time I’ve spent wondering why I was brought into Spira, why me, but the real question is, why him?  Not that we’ll ever know, of course.”

“Maybe the fayth knew that he would change the future here,” Yuna speculates, “or maybe it was pure coincidence.”  She nods her head.  “Yes, let’s go to the Farplane.  I can see my father, too.”

~

When they reach the Farplane, they find themselves in a field of flowers, surrounded by waterfalls.  Tidus thinks it's beautiful, but he notices Yuna shudder next to him.

"Are you alright?" he asks, turning to face her.

"Yes," Yuna assures, though she sounds anything but.  "Being here just reminded me of something.

"Shuyin?"

Yuna frowns.  "Yes, actually.  When Rikku, Paine, and I first learned of Vegnagun, we went to Bevelle, hoping to find anything that might explain what was going on.  We were hoping to find Vegnagun, but Vegnagun was gone.  There was a hole in its place.  I wound up here, and I thought I was alone, but Shuyin was here.  He found me.  He thought I was Lenne.  It was.... unsettling."

"I know what Shuyin did was wrong, and I'm sorry for what you went through.  But I can't help feeling a little sad for the guy."

"He was distressed because he had lost someone he loved," Yuna says softly, "and he wanted to prevent war.  He went about it the wrong way, and he caused a lot of pain, but it was difficult for me not to feel sympathy for him.”

"In the end," Tidus said, "he was at peace though, right?"

"Yes," Yuna nods, "he was.  He was reunited with Lenne.  I'm happy, that we could bring him peace.  Spira has seen so much war, so much death, so much destruction.  It would be so easy to hate him, but I don't want to."

"You're right," Tidus agrees, "you saved Spira, and it's best to move on, isn't it?"

"Yes," Yuna says.  She seems off, somehow, far away.

"Hey, Yuna, what's on your mind?"

"Nothing," she smiles, clearly lying. "Didn't you say you wanted to see Auron?"

"Yeah," Tidus admits, "but I'm not sure he'll show up."

Yuna touches her arm to his shoulder.  "I'll give you a minute, alright?"

"Hey, Yuna, I'm sure he would want to see you, too."

"I know," she says, "but you should have some time alone, anyway."

Yuna walks away, and Tidus spends a long time reflecting on their conversation, about what he has heard so far about Shuyin, and the war in Zanarkand.  He is startled out of his thoughts by a familiar voice behind him.

“You never did like letting me sleep.”

“Auron!” Tidus exclaims, turning his head to see Auron standing there, looking exactly the same as the guy Tidus had known for a decade.  “I thought you said sleep is for old men.”

Auron, as expected, did not dignify that statement with a response.

“You always did have a penchant for dramatics.”

“Shut up, I do not.”

“What’s really up, kid?  I don’t believe that you wanted to see me just to say thank you.  It isn’t our style.”

As a kid, Tidus had known that Auron was being deliberately secretive, and it had annoyed him at first; he’d made a hobby of pushing any and all of Auron’s buttons.  But after his mom died, it seemed less important to him.  Auron had said to him he was pushing people away so as not to lose them.  He’d scoffed at the time.  He sees the truth of it now a lot more.

“Maybe I just wanted to disturb you one last time, old man.”

Auron raises an eyebrow.  “I will haunt you.”

“I thought that’s what you were doing for those ten years in Zanarkand.”

Auron glares daggers, but does not respond to that.

"Anyway," Tidus says, ignoring Auron's lack of response, "maybe I really did just want to see you."

Auron arches an eyebrow in response.  “Listen to me, kid.  I spent ten years fulfilling promises I made to Braska and Jecht. Don’t misunderstand – it’s not a regret.  Eventually, those promises became promises to you and Yuna, too.  I got more out of that pilgrimage than I expected or deserved.  I lived for ten years as an unsent; if I had wanted to stay around after defeating Sin, I would have, but sometimes an old man just needs to rest in peace.  You don’t owe me anything.”

“I never said I did.”

“You never needed to say it.  Anyway, you should learn from me, you know.  Don’t spend the entire second chance you’ve been given wondering about the past.  It’s over.”

“I was supposed to die, Auron.  I was supposed to stay dead.”

“You don’t have to feel guilty for living, you know.”

“I mean,” Tidus hesitates, “yeah, I guess maybe I feel guilty, but that’s not… that’s not really it.”

Auron pauses.  “Not everything in life has to have some big purpose, kid.  You’ve done that already, anyway.  Why don’t you just let yourself live?”

 “…I don’t know how,” Tidus admits.

Auron snorts.  “Neither does anyone else.  Congrats, you’re a real boy now.”

Tidus scowls.  “Everyone keeps saying that!”

“That’s because it’s true.  This didn’t bother you before.”

Tidus sighs.  “I didn’t know any better before.”

“Look,” Auron says finally, “I can’t tell you why the fayth decided to bring you back.  No one does, I suppose, although I suspect Yuna has a good idea.  Still, do you honestly believe they would have brought you back just to hold you to some specific purpose?  Tidus, that’s what they did the first time.  That’s what they did to all of Zanarkand.  Your Zanarkand, anyway.”

“Right, and they told me… that they were tired of dreaming, that they wanted to end it.  So why bring me back?  Unless there’s something I’m missing, even the fayth can’t just make a real person out of a dream, so I’m here because they’re dreaming me again.  So, what, they’re going to do that for the rest of my natural life?  Why?”

“Because you did end it, maybe,” Auron guesses.   “I’m sure you feel as though you didn’t have much of a choice, but you did.”

Tidus scoffs.  “Yeah, right.”

“You didn’t have to save Spira.”

“Didn’t I?  Would you have let me choose anything else?”

“I knew it wouldn’t come to that.”

“Stop avoiding my questions.”

“It was a choice, and it says more about you than you realize that you felt otherwise.  I don’t know why you are here, but you are, and I doubt the fayth would be cruel enough to take you away again.  Either way, you should just do what you want to do.  And don’t ask me again what that is, I don’t know and I don’t care, that’s your job to figure out.  I can’t whip you into shape anymore.”

The smile Tidus gives him in return is sad.  “I will miss that.”

Auron reaches a hand out, a motion to ruffle Tidus’ hair, before he seems to remember his current state and pulls it back.  “You have to let me go, Tidus.”

“I know,” he sighs.  “Thank you, Auron.”

Auron only nods at him.

“Say goodbye to Yuna before you go, will you?”

Nodding again, Auron walks past, and he says, “You’ll be fine.  You always have been.”

Tidus blinks past the tears in his eyes and whispers again, “Thank you, Auron.”

-

Yuna approaches him not long after, and Tidus knows that Auron is gone.  He’s not sure if he’ll ever see him again.  The thought makes him uneasy, but not as much as it may have before.

He wonders what Yuna will say to him, but she wraps her arms around him from behind, resting her head on his shoulder, and says, “Can you show me?  Your Zanarkand?”

"Can I?"

"I think so," Yuna whispers.  "If you want to.  Just imagine it."

So Tidus does, and slowly, the flowers and the waterfalls fade away, until the area around them is pitch black.  The surrounds don’t stay like that for long.  Soon, they become surrounded by his Zanarkand, translucent, but there.  They become surrounded by tall, sparkling buildings, by lights all around them, by the blitzball sphere and the stadium.  By his home.

Tidus doesn’t fight the wetness in his eyes, and he takes Yuna’s hands, still around his waist, into his own. 

“This place really is beautiful,” Yuna observes, her voice soft and full of awe.

“The best,” Tidus agrees.

“I’m sorry, Tidus.  I’m sorry that you were taken from your home without any choice.  I’m sorry that you’ll never get to go back.”

He closes his eyes to hold back the tears, and his heart clenches, but he feels a sense of relief he’s not sure he’s ever felt in his life, at hearing those words from Yuna.  He opens his eyes, blinking away the tears, to gaze upon the flickering blitzball sphere he had spent so much of his life in.

“I’m not,” he whispers.  “I’m not, because as much as I miss my home, it means I got to see another world.  It means I met you, and everyone else.  I’ll never be sorry about that.”

“You really mean that?”

He removes his hands from hers, then, and gently loosens her arms from around his waist so he can turn to face her.  “Yuna,” he says fiercely, taking her hands back into his, “Of course I do.”

“I was worried,” Yuna confesses, looking down at their joined hands.  “You’re back here because I asked for you.  You should be back because of everything you did for Spira, for us, for me, but you aren’t.  It’s because the fayth wanted to give me something, and I asked for you.  So much of your life has been out of your control.  I was worried.”

“I never knew that this was something that I could ask for.  After learning the truth, I never thought it was something I could have.  But if given the choice between being dead and being with you, I’m going to choose you every time.  I never had close friends before I came here.  I’m so lucky to have that.  I’m lucky to have you, someone who fought for me.”

She squeezes his hands and leans up to kiss him.  “I’ll always fight for you.”

Tidus closes his eyes and rests his forehead against hers.  “I’ve been worried too, Yuna.  I haven’t been completely honest with you.  I still don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing here.”

“That’s okay.  I’ve been telling you, that’s okay.”

“I know.  But I don’t belong here, I never did.”

“You do belong here,” Yuna insists.  “Tidus, look at me.”  She waits until he opens his eyes before she says, “You aren’t from Spira, that doesn’t mean you don’t belong in Spira.  Maybe I can’t understand what it’s like to be in a completely different world, but I understand what it’s like to feel like you have no purpose anymore.  I’ve had to learn to live in a world I never thought I would be alive to see.  It’s still hard sometimes.  I get it.”

"Can you promise me," Tidus asks, "Can you _promise_ me that me being with you doesn't mess that up?  You spent two years putting that all behind."

"Yes," Yuna says, "I did.  All of Spira did.  But that doesn't mean I don't want to figure out this new world with you.  I didn't spend all that time searching for you to just abandon you when I finally found you.  I searched for you because I love you, and I wanted the chance to be with you again.  That's all I wanted, and I was lucky enough to get it.  We can figure out the rest together.  We _will_ figure out the rest together.  You don't have to be anything for me, Tidus, you never did.  Just let me help you.  Please."

"I want that," Tidus says finally.  "I do.  If you let me help you too, okay?  There's so much I still don't understand.  But I want to."

"You will," she says.  "Is this why you've been so weird around blitzball?"

"Yeah, maybe," Tidus admits.  "I don't know, I guess I've been feeling like there's something else I'm supposed to do, like blitzball isn't enough."

"It still makes you happy, doesn't it?"

"Of course it does."

"So maybe you'll play professionally, maybe you won't, but don't stop doing something that you love just because you feel like you don't deserve it, Tidus.  You do."

He stares at her, overwhelmed and lost for words.

"There’s nothing wrong with wanting to do something that makes you happy,” Yuna says.  “I still have to remind myself of this, sometimes.  It’s something I really learned, with the Gullwings.  It’s okay to chase things that make you happy.  I really believe that.”

“You,” Tidus says, “really are amazing.”

“I don’t know about that,” Yuna tells him, “I’m just lucky enough to have friends who love me, to have friends who sacrificed a whole lot to save not only me, but the rest of Spira.  We all deserve to be happy.  I want us all to be happy.  And I want to be with you.”

“I want that too.”

“Hey,” she says, very seriously, "This is our story, right?”

He feels so much love for her then, he has to kiss her before he says, “And we’ll see this through together.”

Tidus is caught up enough in Yuna and trying to remember how perfect the moment feels that he almost forgets about the dream Zanarkand that he had called to them until he notices the buildings fading back into the flowers and waterfalls of the Farplane.  Desperately, he calls any memories of Zanarkand he has to him, just to see its image for a few minutes longer.  He isn’t ready to let go yet.

“You know, Yuna,” he suggests, “I can’t take you to my Zanarkand, but let’s go to Spira’s.  I want to see it again.”

“Yes, let’s go.  We should.  But let’s stay here for just a while longer.  Show me more.  So I can help you remember.”

~

For as long as Tidus can remember, he has desperately held on to everything that was important to him, as if gripping his own palm tight enough that his nails dug into his skin would stop sand from slipping through his fingers.  There are plenty of people and plenty of experiences he doesn’t want to forget.  Tidus spends a good portion of their journey from the Farplane to Macalania Woods reflecting on his conversations with Auron and Yuna and comes to the conclusion that, maybe, it’s time for him to learn to let go.  Of Auron, of Zanarkand, of his regrets.  Letting go, after all, doesn’t necessarily mean forgetting, and Tidus doesn’t want to dwell on the past forever.  He is learning just how much he has to be grateful for now. 

When they reach Macalania, he learns that he may have to start letting go earlier than anticipated.

“The woods are so empty,” he observes with no small amount of sadness.  He had always liked this place and its icy, crystal atmosphere.  It had felt isolating, but in a comforting sense, like a hideaway from all the havoc that Spira had been experiencing at the time.

“When the fayth disappeared,” Yuna explains, “the forest began to fade away.  It doesn’t seem like it will be here for much longer.”

Confused, Tidus asks, “But we’re still seeing fiends and pyreflies.  There’s nothing that will stop the forest from disappearing?”

“I suppose it’s possible,” Yuna concedes, “but I haven’t heard of anything.”

“Well then, I guess we should do what we can to remember the forest, too.” He grins at Yuna then.  “After all, the spring will always be an important spot for us.”

“Yes, that’s true,” Yuna agrees.  “I will be sad, when that spring disappears.”

"Yeah, hey, didn't you say you could record spheres?"

“We can, I do have some with me.  Did you want to now?”

“Yes, I do.  I want to start making new memories, Yuna.  I think we should start at the spring.  You, Rikku, Auron, you’re all right.  I want to enjoy everything we couldn’t before.  I want to remember everything.  Let’s go to the spring.”

“Let’s camp there tonight,” she suggests.  “We aren’t in any sort of hurry.  It’s so quiet, here.”

Tidus loves that idea, and so they do.  They find the spring, smaller, but still there, and Yuna shows Tidus how to record.  He records the forest, the water, the remnant ice crystals, and, finally, Yuna, singing softly and wading in the spring.  She waves at him, beckoning him over, but he sits down with the sphere and observes instead.  He watches her dance in the water and listens to her sing and feels, finally, at home.

~

Kimahri greets them as they reach the base of Mount Gagazet on their way to the Zanarkand Ruins.  Yuna smiles brightly when she sees him, waving and running to greet him.

“Hi, Kimahri,” she laughs, running up to him and briefly touching his arm.  “You look well.”

“Ronso calmer now that hostility with Guado has passed,” Kimahri agreed, “Mountain pleased with decision not to fight.  Ronso focused on mountain, on Ronso youth.  Kimahri think this is right.”

“It is right, Kimahri,” she agrees, and then turns to Tidus as he catches up with them.

“Heya!” Tidus greets, nodding at the Ronso.  “Been a while, how have you been?”

“Tidus,” Kimahri says in greeting, but continues, confused, “You are… here.”

“Yeah,” Yuna says, “it’s a long story.  We’ll tell you, I promise.  We’re heading to Zanarkand, but we have some time, if you do?”

Kimahri nods at them.  “If Yuna have time, Lian and Ayde have been asking about you.  Say they have stories to tell High Summoner.”

“I’d be delighted,” she assures him, just as Lian and Ayde come rushing down the mountain trail.  “Lady Yuna!” they call, and Yuna brushes her hand against Tidus’ shoulder before running to meet them.  Tidus can’t help but smile as he watches her greet them, bright and happy.  He startles when Kimahri speaks to him.

“Yuna happy.  Make Kimahri happy too.”

Still watching Yuna with the young Ronso, Tidus can’t ignore her contagious smile.  “Me too.”

“Kimahri also happy to see you back.  Valiant warriors deserve happy ending.”

Tidus feels his cheeks redden and he rubs one hand through his hair.  “I don’t think I was valiant, Kimahri.”

 “Kimahri disagree.  Tidus come to world he doesn’t know, can’t get back home, doesn’t know Yuna, still protect her.  Protect Spira.  End life for the rest of the world.  Definition of courage.”

“Wow.  Thank you.”

Kimahri nods.  “Ronso will remember your sacrifice, as we have remembered the sacrifice of the summoners.  Still, if you hurt Yuna, will bury you high on mountain, no one find you.”

The threat startles a laugh out of Tidus.  “I wouldn’t expect anything less of you, Kimahri.  Don’t worry.  I promise, I don’t want to hurt her.”

Kimahri nods again.  "Good."  He hesitates, and then offers, "Lian and Ayde will occupy Yuna for as long as Yuna allows."

"So, that means as long as they want?" Tidus guesses.

"Yes.  Kimahri give a tour?  Many changes have come upon mountain."

"I would love that, Kimahri," Tidus tells him, sincerely, and follows him to see Gagazet.

-

Kimahri walks with them to the entrance of the caves, where they say their goodbyes.  “It was so good to see you again, Kimahri.” Yuna tells him, hugging him tightly.  “Please take care of yourself.”

“Kimahri wish he had more time to travel, see Besaid again, see friends,” the Ronso laments, allowing Yuna to hug him for longer than he was usually comfortable with.

“Hey, I bet we can visit you, right?  Get Rikku to bring us all here on the airship?”

As Yuna ends the hug, she smiles at Kimahri and affirms, “Yes, we’ll come visit, Kimahri, I think that’s a great idea.”

“You are welcome any time,” Kimahri says, “It would please me if you came to visit.”  He offers Yuna a wrapped bundle, and explains, “Provisions for the rest of your journey to Zanarkand.”

“Thank you, Kimahri, that was so thoughtful,” Yuna says, briefly hugging him again before carefully tucking the bundle against her arm and moving towards the cave entrance.

As Tidus moves to follow her, Kimahri halts him by gripping his shoulder.  “Mountain knows your turmoil, but you will find your path.  Be at peace.”

“You know what,” Tidus replies, “I think I will, Kimahri.  Thanks for everything, really.  ‘Til next time, big guy.”  He nods at the Ronso and gives him a wave as he follows Yuna towards Zanarkand.

~

As they stand at the entrance to the Zanarkand Ruins, Tidus again finds himself at a crossroads.  On the pilgrimage, the hope and excitement that first came with the thought of seeing Zanarkand again had quickly changed focus to the desperation of Yuna’s quest, and he had found himself with a heavy heart upon entering the Ruins, partially as a result of seeing his beloved home in such a state, but primarily due to desperation to save Yuna.

Tidus knew what to expect this time, but still finds himself feeling empty.  Whether he's real or a dream, whether he lives or dies, he's never getting his Zanarkand back.  He knows this now, knows he needs to let the idea go, just as he knows that the Ruins he stands in now aren't his home.  Still, standing here always was, and always will be, the closest he will get to going home.  “What’s going to happen to his place?” he asks softly.

“I don’t know,” Yuna replies.  “I think… it won’t be like it was before, when it became a tourist trap.  At least, I hope it won’t.  I want the people of Spira to visit here, to know what it was.  To remember.  But I want this place to be protected, too.  Yevon may have been the reason the ruins are here, and maybe the tradition we followed for so many years was corrupt.  But that doesn’t change the fact that this place meant so much to the summoners, to Spira.”

 “It is special,” Tidus agrees.  He remembers staring out at the Zanarkand Ruins during the pilgrimage, emotions high and tight in his chest, storming around in his head.  He remembers the disappointment at finding Zanarkand nothing like his own, even though he had been told repeatedly that all he could expect was ruins.  He remembers how painful it had been to see, knowing by then that he’d never see his Zanarkand again, that it would disappear, and so would Yuna, if he couldn’t find a way to save her.

He also remembers the fierce protectiveness he had felt.  The desire to protect this Zanarkand hasn't gone away, and he feels something, small but sure, forming in his mind.

“Come on,” he tells Yuna, “I want to see everything.”

~

The fayth told him once that he and Jecht were not just dreams.  He still wonders whether they were created that way, whether the fayth choose them for reasons that he will never know, or whether it was true because of the choices both he and Jecht made.

Tidus doesn’t think he’ll ever know.  For the first time, though, he thinks he’s okay with that.

~

They walk slowly through the Ruins, and Tidus can’t get past how different it feels from the first time they were here.  He’s quiet for long enough that Yuna brushes against him and softly asks, “Hey, are you okay?”

“It’s strange, being here,” Tidus says in response, and Yuna nods, taking his hand in her own. 

“It’s still strange for me, too,” she says, “but I think it will get easier.”

“Yeah,” Tidus murmurs absently.  “Yuna?”

“Yes?”

"This is all of Zanarkand I have left.  This is all of Zanarkand that anyone in Spira has left.  We may not know what's going to happen to this place, but I want to find out, no matter how much time it takes.  I want everyone to know how special this place is, too.  I want to protect it.  I want to help.  Do you think that I could?"

"Of course you can," Yuna says, "and I'll help too."

"I wasn't sure... who even watches over this place, anymore?”

“It was former summoners, mostly,” Yuna explains, “but at the moment, it’s mostly abandoned.  We thought that was a better fate than what it was becoming.  I don’t think anyone wants it to stay like this forever.  Do you think Spira could rebuild Zanarkand someday?”

"I don't know," Tidus says, and he doesn't.  He's not sure he wants to know either; even if they could, he would never get to see it.  "Maybe someday.  Mostly I just want to give this place a chance."

Yuna nods, and tilts her head.  “Would you prefer to live somewhere close?  We can, if you want.”

“No,” Tidus denies without a second thought, “Besaid is your home.  I’m still not sure exactly what I want here, not enough to make a change like that.  I want to play blitzball.  I want to spend time with you, with Lulu and Wakka and Rikku.  I want to know what your ideas are for Spira, Yuna.  Mostly, I just want to be connected to this place.  Maybe it’s silly, but I feel like I can love this place in a way no one else can.”

“You can,” Yuna agrees, “You should.  You can have anything you want.”

"What if I want everything?" Tidus asks.  "Is that selfish?"

"If it is," Yuna says, "I don't think it's a bad sort of selfish."

~

“That’s not cherishing!” Tidus protests as he shakes the water off himself.

“You didn’t disappear.” Yuna replies, smiling softly and watching him, before jumping into the water.

Tidus pulls her closer to him and kisses her forehead.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he says, “Maybe it’s just a feeling I have, but it feels right to say it.”

“I trust you,” Yuna whispers, resting her head against his shoulder, watching the sunset.

“The fayth has given me a second life,” Tidus tells her, “and I think some part of me was worried that I needed to figure out the reason, or else I would disappear.  But I think… I think the purpose is just to live.”

“Just walk with me,” Yuna whispers, “and we’ll be okay.”

~

_“Your existence was a dream, a wish, and you lived it out fulfilling our purpose,” the fayth whispers, in the depths of the Zanarkand Ruins, “now, go fulfill your own.”_

~

"So, it's true then?" the girl asks as she passes the ball back to Tidus, "You're from Zanarkand?"

Tidus nods in affirmation before submerging himself in the ocean and flipping to pass the ball with a firm kick.

"Well," the girl continues when Tidus resurfaces, barely catching the ball before passing it back, "what was it like?"

Tidus holds the ball for just a moment, absently rubbing his hands against it.  He smiles softly, and responds, "It was beautiful."

Before he can become lost in memory, the girl prods him, "And you were a blitzball player, right?"

"Sure was," Tidus responds, with more enthusiasm than before.

"Well, what are you going to do now?"

Tidus smiles, and prepares to throw the ball high into the air.

"Everything."

**Author's Note:**

> The quote that begins this fic ("you are a fading dream...") is taken directly from Final Fantasy X. If you return to the Chamber of the Fayth after recruiting Yojimbo in the Cavern of the Stolen Fayth, Yojimbo’s fayth speaks those words to Tidus in an extra cutscene. This scene was the inspiration for this fic.  
>   
> I obviously took some liberties with the Farplane. I did not deal with the implications of the end of FFX-2 because it was not the focus of this fic, but primarily I refer to allowing Tidus to call Zanarkand in the Farplane to show Yuna. The game leaves no indication that inanimate objects can be called in the Farplane, but seeing as Tidus’ Zanarkand itself was a dream of the fayth, I thought it wasn’t so far out of the realm of possibility. On a similar note, when the party visits the Farplane for the first time in FFX, the dead that appear do not speak, but Shuyin certainly does in FFX-2, which was part of my rationale for having Auron speak to Tidus in this fic. Honestly though, that was mostly self-indulgent; I just wanted to do it.  
>   
> Thanks so much for reading!


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